Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
