You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
