So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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