He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
As shirtless as possible
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize