There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
