First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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