nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
4 words: hood of his car
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
