he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize