I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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