so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
