Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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