scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
