But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
