One girl and one boy is just not enough.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Randomize
