At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
