Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
