i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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