I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
