They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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