no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
