what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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