i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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