some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
