i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
