I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Threesome in a minivan. New low
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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