I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
