yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
