break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
