My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
