you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
