He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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