State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
