I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
