i think i have herpe
just one?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
