well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
