Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
be right there i have to get my cape
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
