I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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