There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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