I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize