My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
