She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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