I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize