yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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