can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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