I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
