i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
