yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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