i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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