I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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