So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
