apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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