i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
And then he peed in my hair
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