i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
