We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize