I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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