Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
