remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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