it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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