Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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