I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
