matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Randomize
